Nowhere Near the Hudson

My husband loves to talk on the phone, but I didn’t realize how out of control it was getting until I got our last cell phone bill. There were twenty-two 411 charges! I was so mad, I threatened to take his phone and throw it in the Hudson River. After I calmed down, and realized we live nowhere near the Hudson, I told him that I was going to put a phone book directory in his truck. I then threatened his life if I ever saw that many 411 charges again, especially now that he would be able to look up numbers the old fashioned way.